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Slow Malcolm

Inspired and influenced by Deep Purple’s scything satirical song “Mary Long”, this little satirical poem is about the ICC and the man at the top there.

For those who don’t know ZC is Zimbabwe Cricket, whose continued presence in any form of international cricket is a shameful indictment of the ICC’s lack of will to deal with the issues raised in and by Zimbabwe.

Slow Malcolm lives in Dubai
But now wears a collar made in Kolkata
Doesn’t live in the real world
To him only money and control matter

Slow Malcolm is a legal guy
Top man, a barrister, sharp and quick
Yet how did our man take our calypso World Cup
And make it look like our sport was sick?

Slow Malcolm thinks that 2007
Was surely the best ever World Cup
Almost everyone else disagreed
But that didn’t shut Slow Malcolm up

Slow Malcolm is a corporate guy
Deals in logos, spin, PR and slick looks
Not the leggie kind of Warney or Mushy
But the kind that tolerates ZC and its crooks

Slow Malcolm isn’t really your man
To do the right thing for the game
He hangs good umpires out to dry (twice now)
And that ZC is still with us deserves shame

Slow Malcolm’s your man for selling us out
Everything here’s up for sale
Approved soft drinks and beer, the back of your bat
“Get it sponsored!” is ICC’s holy grail

Slow he might be but Malcolm’s not daft
He sees where the power base has shifted
Umpires Hair and Bucknor got shafted
Because BCCI’s Lalit’s in charge now

Copyright © 2008 Jamie Dowling

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