You really couldn’t make this up:
staff at a nursery in Pemberton, near Wigan, have confiscated a cheese sandwich belonging to a two-year-old pupil, Jack Ormisher. Its failing was to contain neither lettuce nor tomato.
Sadly, predictably, this isn’t some off-the-reservation jobsworth acting out on an unsanctioned limb. This is exactly what Wigan Council says should happen, because of course they know more about how to bring up children than parents do:
Wigan Council has since confirmed that the straight-up combination of cheese and bread contravenes its healthy eating guidelines — and fully supported the cheese-snatchers. “The centre has a list of recommended healthy food, according to national guidelines, which children are encouraged to eat,” said a spokesman. “A cheese sandwich would not feature on the list.”
In colloquial parlance I believe the correct term to use is “WTF?” You may choose to use your own stronger exclamation of disbelief if you like.